FRIDAY JULY 18, 2008.  Show #2955
Rosie Perez; and David Sedaris.  PLUS: a top ten list; Late Show Fun
Facts; and a man skateboards down Broadway.

“. . . and now, broadcasting from the snow-topped peak of
Kilamanjaro . . . .  David Letterman!”

ACT 1:
Following the monologue, we say hello to Brad Emehiser out on
Broadway.    Brad is from Everett, Washington.  He is normally a
furniture salesman but is now a skateboarder.    Brad is in his 40s
and Dave says skateboarders tend to be a little younger than Brad.
Brad explains, “That’s true.  I’m having a mid-life crisis.”

When someone in their 40s and 50s says they are having a mid-life
crisis, I always think they are being very optimistic.

What will Brad be doing for us tonight?    Brad will do a handstand on
his skateboard and skateboard down Broadway, from 54th Street to 53rd.

Dave reads off the weather stats and announces Today’s Celebrity
Birthday: Vin Diesel turned 41 today.

We are ready.   Brad takes a small running start and then does a
handstand on his skateboard and rolls down Broadway.    Ohhhhhh, he
falls.  He gets back on and continues, and then falls again.    He
then stands and runs up to the waiting camera in triumph.
Dave: “Nice job, Brad, but it was not quite all the way.”    Dave
wonders aloud if we are getting our money’s worth with this guy.

Dave offers Brad a second opportunity to achieve his goal.  The
slightly winded Brad moseys back towards 54th.    I wondered how
long . . .  how long would it take Dave to . . C’mon, Dave, I know
what you’re thinking . .  . . Ah, there it is . . .
DAVE: “Brad, by all means, take your time.”
Brad breaks out into a trot to his starting position.  He tries
again.   This time it is much better as we see him skateboard with a
handstand past the Late Show marquee.   Nice shot.   Brad again comes
up a bit short of 53rd Street and he trots the rest of the way to the
waiting camera.  That was my favorite part of the whole stunt; the run
up to the camera as if we wouldn’t notice he came up short.

ACT 2:
Back from commercial, an “odd Dave” moment.   Dave lets out one of his
biggest sneezes since coming to CBS.    It’s recorded in my data base.

LATE SHOW FUN FACTS: some are fun, some are facts, few are both.

At the conclusion of Fun Facts, Dave runs down the costs of bringing
skateboarder Brad Emehiser all the way from Washington to Broadway to
perform his little stunt.    “Is he worth it?”  The audience
applauds.   Sure, but it’s not their money.

ACT 3:
TOP TEN: Things Overheard in Line To See the New Batman Movie
9. “Shouldn’t you be working, Mr. President.”
3. “Hey, honey, there’s a guy skateboarding, no running, no
skateboarding down Broadway!”

ROSIE PEREZ: Ahhh, the lovely Rosie Perez.   Dave wonders how she
keeps in such good shape.    Rosie says she’s taken up tennis and bike
riding.   Ever done any skateboarding?    Rosie says she never did too
much skateboarding and adds that our skateboarder, Brad Emehiser,
looks just like Rodney Dangerfield.   Dave said the same thing just
before the show.
Rosie likes to go down to Atlantic City with her friends in her free
time.   She doesn’t go for the gambling; she goes for the shows and to
watch boxing.  Rosie is a big fan of the boxing and says you cannot
really appreciate the sport unless you’ve got punched in the face at
least once.
Rosie plays a crooked police officer in her new film, “Pineapple
Express,” opens which opens August 8th.

ACT 5:
Announce: “Monday on the Late Show, Will Ferrell; and from
‘Mythbusters,’ Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman.
The Late Show, on the air for 15 years, making people laugh for 5
years!
We’ll be right back.”

ACT 6:
DAVID SEDARIS: Author of the bestselling book, “When You Are Engulfed
in Flames.”    All of Sedaris’s books are laugh-out-loud funny.
Great summer reading by the pool.
David is just off a world tour for his book’s release and has done a
lot of readings.
Greece: people are extremely rude.  Not only do they take calls on
their cellphones during the readings, they make them.
Brazil: lots of panhandlers.  Always hear how dangerous it is, but
it’s nothing out of the ordinary.  He heard that it’s against the law
to wear a watch there.
What’s this about David Sedaris quitting smoking?  Could it be?
David says he has a good reason for quitting.   Many of the best
hotels are now non-smoking.   When David is on a book tour and there
is someone else paying the hotel tab, he wants to make sure he’s
staying at the best.    He’d rather stay at the Ritz-Carlton and not
smoke than at a Motel Inn between the highways and smoke.

And a brief sit-down, David Sedaris reads from his book, “When You Are
Engulfed in Flames.”

And that was our show for Friday July 18, 2008.

Right after I’m finished with this I’m off to the 35th Annual Canoe
Trip with the Rolston’s Rowdies down Skinner’s Falls along the
Delaware River.   My friend from college has been making most of these
trips since the 70’s along with his Bronx neighborhood.  I’ve only
jumped aboard the past two years, and I only would get there after the
canoe trip on Saturday.   By this time, the drinking had already gone
on for over 24 hours and 38 years.  This year, I’ll be there from the
start.   Years ago I wouldn’t have even blinked at an all-weekend
drink but that is a young man’s game.   I’m much older than that
now.    And this crowd . . . . this is still a sophomore college
mentally crowd.   Everything is fast forward and more more more.   But
I have to put on a good show for this group.   I’m representing the
suburbs.    Wish me luck.
This ain’t no party. This ain’t no disco.  This ain’t no foolin’
around.

I went to the DMV Friday morning before going to work.   Usually, the
DMV is a full day of work in itself but I am what I am.    I lost my
new registration sticker for the family car and I had to go get a new
one.  I researched what I had to do on their website the night before,
printing out the forms I would need, filling them in beforehand, and
making copies of everything I thought I would need.   I got to the DMV
right as it opened.  I was 20th in line.   I cursed myself for not
getting there earlier.   I was ready for some unforeseen disaster and
I sensed everyone else on line was too.    As I stood on line I went
over and over what I needed, trying to figure out what I had
forgot.    I just knew I forgot something.    I just knew this would
take two trips.    I was relieved that the line moved pretty well.
Halfway to the front, the guy behind the desk couldn’t find a form for
a customer.    He searched in all the filing cabinets but couldn’t
come up with it.   Meanwhile, people who were already on the line and
moved on were returning to ask “just one more thing.”   The attention
of the guy behind the desk was being stretched in all directions.
Finally a supervisor comes to his aide and sharply tells him where to
find the form he was looking for.   It was not friendly.   “Check the
list” she snapped at him, “that’s why we made the list!”  There was no
love lost between the two and I was a bit surprised that it was only15
minutes into their day and the two DMV employees were already at each
other’s throat.   The supervisor leaves muttering, and the guy mumbles
something under his breath at her.   The person at the head of the
line is given the form and sent on her way.   A person who was helped
earlier returns and barks, “VIN number?  How was I supposed to know I
needed a VIN number?”    Obviously, this woman came to the DMV ready
to fight and was just waiting for something not to go smoothly.    The
guy behind the counter says softly, “I need the VIN number.”
Someone on line tells her what a VIN number is and where she can find
it on her registration in her car.   I was ready to tell her where
else she could find it if she didn’t have her registration, but held
back hoping to see more fireworks if that was the case.   More than
one person snapped at the gentleman behind the desk.    I realized the
reason the DMV has so many horror stories is because people come
expecting a horror story.    Everyone is ready for a fight.
My turn.   I hand the guy my stuff and tell him I lost my registration
sticker.    Within 5 seconds he gives me a number and points me in the
next direction.   He tells me to take a seat until my number was
called.   Less than minute later my number is called.  I run up to
window #4, hand in my paper work and wait for the bad news.   The look
on the woman’s face is not pleasant.   Uh oh.  I’m sure I forgot
something.   Something is wrong.   I soon realize there is nothing
wrong.  The scowl on her face simply comes with the job.  She prints
out my new registration sticker and I’m done.  I’m out the door 20
minutes after I entered.   Painless.   And I did it by making only ONE
trip.   No return trip was necessary.   What a relief.
I put the registration sticker down on the passenger seat and drive
off.  I’ll put it on the windshield later.

CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER
Canoeing down the Delaware River by Skinner’s Falls, from Stony Point,
it’s Tommy O’Brien.
This concludes another installment of CAMEO MENTION OF A WAHOO READER

Michael Z. McIntee
Mikem...@aol.com